Britcent - [S6E3] The L word

Steph  00:02 

Hi, Dalya.  

 

Dalya  00:04 

Hello, Steph. How are you doing today?  

 

Steph  00:06 

Yeah, I'm good, thank you. It's a beautiful sunny day, so I'm enjoying my summer clothes, at last. What about you? How are you? 

*at last 마침내

 

Dalya  00:14 

Oh, yes. Well, we're kind of over the heatwave, aren't we? 

*over the heatwave 혹서기를 지나고 있는

 

Steph  00:17 

We are, thankfully, thankfully, because that was a bit uncomfortable, I must admit.  

 

Dalya  00:22 

Yeah.  

 

Steph  00:22 

But yeah, it's nice. I would say it's pleasantly hot now. 

 

Dalya  00:26 

It is, it's lovely. I wonder if our listeners know that we had the hottest day in England ever, right?  

 

Steph  00:33 

I think so.  

 

Dalya  00:33 

Hottest day, ever.  

 

Steph  00:34 

I think it was, yeah.  

 

Dalya  00:35 

Hottest day on record, yeah. 40, 41?  

*on record 기록상

 

Steph  00:37 

Oh my goodness. Yeah, it was, and I-- ooh, it certainly felt it. So humid as well. It was crazy.  

*it certainly felt it 그것을 확실히 느꼈다.

 

Dalya  00:43 

Yeah, felt like tropical climate.  

*tropical climate 열대 기후

 

Steph  00:44 

Right. Yeah. Well, today, we are talking about love. 

 

Dalya  00:50 

Love.  

 

Steph  00:51 

"Love, love, love." 

 

Dalya  00:51 

"Love is in the air." So we both start singing. 

 

Steph  00:56 

And the reason we're talking about love is 'cause it kind of fits into our theme of this season, which is kind of comparing, you know, British and Korean culture from what we've understood from our students and everything. And I remember one of my students actually asking me, "When do British people say that they love someone?"  

*fit into ~에 꼭 들어맞다, ~에 적합하다.

 

Dalya  01:18 

Okay.  

 

Steph  01:18 

It's quite an interesting question, I thought. Yeah.  

 

Dalya  01:22 

Is time important?  

 

Steph  01:24 

Well, I mean, I would say that I certainly wouldn't say that I love someone as soon as I start seeing them. Because I think that will be too soon. I think in the UK we're quite cautious about using 'the L word' as we call it, love. 

*be cautious about ~에 조심하다.

*as we call it 소위, 이른바

 

Dalya  01:40 

Yeah, it's like a landmark, isn't it?  

 

Steph  01:42 

It is, yes. It's a milestone.   

 

Dalya  01:44 

It changes your relationship.  

 

Steph  01:45 

Yeah.  

 

Dalya  01:46 

Not landmark, sorry; milestone. What am I talking about? 

 

Steph  01:48 

I like 'landmark'. Yeah. Yeah, it is like a milestone and-- but this student kind of, and other students, Korean students of mine, have given me the impression that it's something that Koreans might say a little bit more earlier in the relationship, like the equivalent of love, I guess.  

 

Dalya  02:05 

So maybe it means something different?  

 

Steph  02:07 

Maybe it does. And that's another thing, like in different languages, they have different kind of words or connotations for love. But I think in English, 'love', like the actual words 'I love you' is such a big thing. Don't you agree?  

 

Dalya  02:23 

Well, yeah, 'cause in a relationship, if you say, "I love you", it means 'I am in love with you'. But it's not the same 'I love you' which you would say to like your sister or your dog. That means 'I value you'. So it's to do with being in love, which I suppose is a big-- people think is a big deal.  

*to do with ~와 관계가 있는, ~에 관한

 *value ~을 소중하게 생각하다.

 

Steph  02:41 

It's a big deal. Yeah, exactly. And we probably wouldn't say it too early, because we don't want to come on too strong, you know? We don't want to kind of scare the person off, you know, like, they might think we're too intense if we say that at the beginning, right? And they might run for the hills, you know? 

*come on too strong ~에게 열정적으로 다가가다.

*scare someone off ~에게 겁을 주다.

*run for the hills 책임을 지기전에 도망치다.

 

Dalya  03:05 

Yeah, I think, also, if we did that, then there would be no romantic comedy films, because most romantic comedy films are about, you know, the peak of the film is the moment when the person says, "I love you." 

 

Steph  03:17 

Exactly, exactly, yeah, that is the main crux of it. That's right. So when do we say- I mean... 

*crux (문제나 쟁점의) 가장 중요한 부분

 

Dalya  03:24 

Everyone's different.  

 

Steph  03:25 

Everyone's different. Yeah, it's true. It's true. Definitely not after like two or three dates. I definitely wouldn't say that after, like, a couple of dates with someone new. 

 

Dalya  03:34 

I'd say like after a few months. I mean, I'm no dating guru.  

*guru 전문가, 권위자

 

Steph  03:38 

Me neither, really. 

 

Dalya  03:41 

Few months, I suppose. I don't know. But I suppose for some people, it's earlier. I mean, there is the whole love at first sight thing, whether that's true or not. Lots of people say it is, but I think even if you know there was love at first sight, people probably still wouldn't say it until they really were sure that they felt it and also that they were kind of serious about the relationship, right? Because it's a marker that your relationship is then serious and I'm assuming exclusive; you're not seeing anybody else, I hope. 

*at first sight 첫눈에, 언뜻 보기에

 

Steph  04:11 

Yes. That's the idea. I think that that's the point, like telling someone that you love them has the connotations of, "I love you and there's no one else like you and I'm not saying this to everyone and there's no one else that I do love."  

 

Dalya  04:28 

This sounds like a song.  

 

Steph  04:29 

Do you know what I mean? I can make a song out of it.  

 

Dalya  04:32 

This sounds like a song.  

 

Steph  04:33 

But yeah, I mean, of course, it depends on the person. It depends on the kind of relationship. It depends on the moment. But it is quite a big moment, I would say.  

 

Dalya  04:41 

Yeah, definitely.  

 

Steph  04:41 

Like to actually use the word 'love'. But there are other things you can say to someone to show them that you're, you know, that you like them a lot and that you're interested in them without saying 'love' because maybe you don't feel like it's the right stage to say 'love'. Um, what do you think - because, again, this is a question some of my students have asked - what would you say, then, if you want to show someone you care without using the word 'love' because it's too strong and too early? 

 

Dalya  05:12 

Well, this is another thing you see in films and stuff, isn't it? Because there's that, you know, Friends, the series, and there's a bit where like, she goes to say to him, "I love...", and he looks so hopeful-slash-scared, and then she says, "I love spending time with you." 

 

Steph  05:29 

Exactly, exactly. That's it. That's perfect. Yeah. "I love spending time with you." 

 

Dalya  05:33 

I mean, I'm not sure there is much you can say. I mean, a lot of people say - a lot of non-English speakers say - that when it comes to deep words like 'love', actually English is pretty lacking. You speak a bit of Spanish, right? Don't they have like six million words for 'love' and it's a different word for a different feeling and a different person? 

 

Steph  05:56 

Yes. I noticed that about Italian for instance, that they say, "Ti amo", which means like, 'I love you', which is the big thing.  

 

Dalya  06:03 

What? "I'm in love with you"?  

 

Steph  06:05 

Well, I just think it means 'I love you'. Yeah. And but then they have other phrases like, I don't know, like, "Ti voglio bene", which means like, 'I care for you', which you can say to a friend, for example. 

 

Dalya  06:16 

Okay, so you wouldn't say Ti amo to-- you only say it in a romantic relationship?  

 

Steph  06:22 

I believe so, I believe so. Yeah.   

 

Dalya  06:24 

Okay.  

 

Steph  06:24 

I may be wrong, don't quote me on this, but I believe so. There are other things you could say, you know? But in English, it's like, you either say 'I love you', or you kind of express that you like someone, obviously, through your actions, obviously. I mean, that's the main thing, isn't it? Like the actions rather than the words. As they say, 'actions speak louder than words'. But you can still say, like, "I really like you". Or, "I really like spending time with you." Like "I have so much fun together [with you]".  

*Dont quote me on this 이거 확실한 건 아니니까 인용하지마.

 

Dalya  06:52 

"I'm crazy about you." 

 

Steph  06:53 

Yeah, like, you can say these things like without actually using the word 'love'. 

 

Dalya  06:57 

Yeah.  

 

Steph  06:58 

Plus I-- 

 

Dalya  06:59 

I feel like this has now turned into dating advice.  

*turn into ~으로 변하다, 바뀌다.

 

Steph  07:02 

Well, please don't take it from me. Although I think that, like, normally people wouldn't really say "I love you" to someone unless they kind of were certain the other person would say it back. And that is the worst thing, like saying it to someone and they don't say it back. 

 

Dalya  07:19 

It's a risk, isn't it? You've got to be-- no one wants to be the first person. 

 

Steph  07:23 

Yeah, exactly. It's a big risk. That's the thing. Yeah. Anyways, so in this podcast, as usual, we've had three interesting expressions that we're going to talk about now before we go. Our three-word takeaway, as usual. So the first one was the verb, 'to see someone'. So I said, you know, "I wouldn't say 'I love you' as soon as I start seeing someone." This is quite an informal way of expressing, kind of casually going out with someone. So they're not necessarily your serious boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe you've been on a few dates, let's say; you could say, you know, "I'm seeing someone at the moment." 

 

Dalya  08:06 

Pre-love.  

 

Steph  08:07 

Yeah, exactly. Pre-love.   

 

Dalya  08:10 

I think this one's a bit confusing because our students, and probably most people in the world who are learning English, are probably more familiar with the American version, which is 'to date someone'.  

 

Steph  08:20 

Yeah.  

 

Dalya  08:21 

But we've kind of started using that. I feel like we've inherited that from-- especially with the rise of dating apps.  

*inherit 상속받다, 물려받다.

 

Steph  08:26 

Yeah, definitely.  

 

Dalya  08:28 

I feel like we're starting to use the word 'date' a bit more. But I think 'to see someone' is pretty British, right? I don't think they really say that-- 

 

Steph  08:35 

I think so. I don't think they say that in America. And also, like, to be honest, I definitely use the word 'date'. So we say like, "I'm going on a date." Definitely. 

 

Dalya  08:42 

Yeah. As a noun, to go on a date. 

 

Steph  08:44 

But as a verb, I think it's very American. Although, obviously, as you say, like some people use it these days, because obviously, because of culture cross. But yeah. So if you want to use it in a sentence, another example, you could say, "Have you got a boyfriend?" "No, but I'm kind of seeing someone at the moment." Okay? Or you could ask someone, "How long have you been seeing each other?" 

 

Dalya  09:09 

Yeah. And our second one, which is quite a funny one is-- which is not just, it's not particular to this topic, right - we can use it in many situations - is 'run for the hills'.  

 

Steph  09:22 

Yes.  

 

Dalya  09:23 

And this is an idiom and it's informal. And it means to try and get away from a situation - so, basically escape - as quickly as you can usually, because you're afraid of commitment... 

*commitment 약속, 전념, 헌신

 

Steph  09:34 

Yes. Exactly.  

 

Dalya  09:36 

...regarding your relationship. So it's, obviously it's because we assume higher ground is safer in a natural disaster.  

 

Steph  09:43 

That is where it comes from this expression run for the hills. Yeah. So if there's danger or risk, run away, basically.  

 

Dalya  09:51 

Go to higher ground.  

 

Steph  09:52 

Exactly. Yeah. So how could we use it in the sense of like dating and stuff?  

 

Dalya  09:58 

So we could say, "If someone told me they loved me on our second or third date, I'd probably run for the hills."  

 

Steph  10:03 

Yeah, totally. Me too. It's just too much.  

 

Dalya  10:08 

Too much. Too much, too soon. Or we can say, "She told him she wanted to get married and have children soon. And he ran for the hills." Oh, that's pretty sad. 

 

Steph  10:17 

That's really sad. But maybe she said it on the first date. Who knows?  

 

Dalya  10:20 

Yeah, yeah, yeah.   

 

Steph  10:22 

All right. And the third and final expression of the day is 'come on strong' or 'come on too strong'. Which is, again, an idiom and it's informal. Basically, if you 'come on strong' or 'come on too strong', it means that you make your feelings very clear in a very strong way, especially kind of romantic or sexual feelings. 

 

Dalya  10:45 

Yeah. 

 

Steph  10:48 

For example, you could say, "I went on a blind date last night and he came on too strong. So I made my excuses and left early."   

 

Dalya  10:57 

"She ran for the hills." 

 

Steph  10:57 

She ran for the hills, exactly. Or another example, which I think is very common, especially at the start of a relationship, this one. "She didn't want to come on strong and scare him off. So she waited a few days before texting him again."  

 

Dalya  11:13 

Oh, 'playing hard to get'; that's another phrase.  

*play hard to get 비싸게 굴다, 튕기다.

 

Steph  11:16 

Another one, yes. Don't be too, you know, don't make it too easy for the person. Yeah, you know, 'play hard to get', that's what we say. 

 

Dalya  11:24 

And this one is also an idiom and it's informal. And just to make it clear, if you say someone comes on too strong, this is definitely disapproving.  

*disapproving 못마땅해 하는, 탐탁찮아 하는

 

Steph  11:31 

Yeah.  

 

Dalya  11:32 

Because you're saying they're too forward.  

 

Steph  11:33 

Yeah.  

 

Dalya  11:34 

It's too much. You don't like it.  

 

Steph  11:35 

Yeah, it's not a good thing. Ever.  

 

Dalya  11:38 

Yeah.  

 

Steph  11:39 

All right. And I think that is all for today. Very fun talking to you. It was a good topic. I liked it.  

 

Dalya  11:47 

And people, leave comments, because I'm curious about the words for 'love' in Korean. Do you have many? Do you have one? 

 

Steph  11:54 

Exactly. Yeah. Let us know if you have any comments or questions about this topic, and we'll try our best to get back to you soon. All right. 

 

Dalya  12:01 

Okay. lovely to see you. Don't melt in the heat. 

 

Steph  12:03 

Same, same. Have a lovely day, and I'll see you next time. 

 

Dalya  12:08 

Take care. Bye. I love you. 

 

Steph  12:09 

Love you.